Servant Up For Adoption

Name: Survant

Breed: Malaysian Long Hair

Age: Uncertain

Gender: Female

Colour: Chocolate with high vanilla

Adoption Fee: FREE (just get her out of our home!)

Reason for putting her up for adoption:

 Ever since she contracted that horrible, wracking cough, we have been deprived of a sound sleep. Many times Yin Yin or I, whoever the unfortunate party is that happened to be sleeping next to her, would be jerked awake every 2 or 3 seconds with that pulverizing sound. We are tired and sleepy (yawn) and the only chance we get to sleep is when she's out. 

Signed:

Blackie Bond

Lady Faye Yin

The Worldwide UFO Cover-Up

I woke up this morning and found the human staring at the computer screen on her desk. 

Oh my doG, that's Yin, on the cover of the magazine The Worldwide UFO Cover-Up! And what are they saying?? That Yin is an alien that has been living amongst them?? Wait.....the human has just flipped to another screen....

Oh no, I'm also on the cover.....and why is that human green all over with such huge eyes? He looks more like a bug than a human....

OWC - Obedient Wives Club OR Orgy Wives Club??

I can't believe someone, and a club at that, would provide me with so much entertainment and amusement that I am now writing a fourth installment on the same social issue. To refresh our memories, here's my third and second write-up.

OWC, a controversial women's club, has just released a book that is probably the most outrageous ever written by a Malaysian. The book encourages a Muslim husband to have sex simultaneously with all his wives. 

First, a good wife should be like a high class prostitute. Now, a good wife should team up with her husband's other wives for orgy sessions. Wow! 

I don't really care what they do behind closed doors, but really, don't they think they are degrading themselves by seeing themselves as sex workers rather than a wife? The status of a wife and sex worker is as different as night from day, so why would they want to sink to the level of a prostitute, and encourage other wives to do that, too??  

Could it be because they have no brains, no personality, no character whatsoever that would hold the interest of their husbands, and sex is the only way they could sustain their husband's interest? 

Check out this report in The Star today.

Najib Meets Queen Bersih

Ladies and gentlemen, noble citizens of Malaysia, Her Majesty Queen Bersih meets Najib.

Her Majesty is in support of her secret service agent, Blackie007, who recently spoke out on Bersih Kitties.

Najib met the Queen at Buckingham Palace on July 14, 2011.

Polygamy, Prostitution and Homosexuality

For the first time since the creation of this blog in 2008, I am writing a third installment on the same social issue. Which is so not me, as I tend not to bother myself too much with this. There are more than enough serious blogs out there, and my blog was meant to be a light-hearted, perhaps frivolous ramblings. You know, a chance to talk to myself without being called a nut.


Anyway, this post is a look at polygamy and a follow-up to a previous post titled "More prostitutes please, we are Malaysians". 

"Men are by nature polygamous", said Dr Rohaya, Mohamad Ikram Ashaari's third wife. “We hear of many men having the ‘other woman,’ affairs and prostitution because for men, one woman is not enough. Polygamy is a way to overcome social ills such as this.”~~ source: The Muslim Observer

This is the woman who said "a good wife is a good sex worker to her husband" and "disobedient wives are the cause for upheaval in this world because men are not happy at home and their minds and souls are disturbed". Her husband, Mohamad Ikram Ashaari,  the man whom Al-Arqam insisted could forgive the sins of Muslims, established Ikwan Polygamy Club to promote polygamy in August last year. While polygamy is legal for Muslims in Malaysia, where a man is allowed to have four wives at a time, husbands who are polygamous have found it difficult to provide for all their wives and children.


But that is not what I'm going to write about. I'm more interested in their claim that polygamy will solve those social ills. I SAY and I say it with capital letters, that polygamy creates MORE social ills. 


Let's take a look at the entitlement of four wives to a man. The population in Malaysia is equally split between males and females. So if there are ten (10) men, then there are ten (10) women in Malaysia. Two men will get four wives each, while one man will get two wives only. The other SEVEN men will never have a wife.


What will those seven, wife-less men do? Turn to homosexuality? Share the other men's wives? Or indulge in incest with their sisters, daughters or mothers? Or turn to bestiality?? I see nothing but more social ills......

And for this Obedient Wife Club, Malaysia is on the map again! 

Malaysia Obedient Wives Club: Good sex is a duty in Yahoo News

Malaysia 'obedient wives' Club: Good sex is a duty in Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Malaysian club urges wives to be' whores in bed' in news.com.au

FB users counter Malaysian 'sexist' wives club with new group in Daily India

'Obedient Wife Club' urges women to be whores in bed in The Sydney Morning Herald

Malaysia Obedient Wife Club promotes marital sex in Forbes

Malaysian women launch 'The Obedient Wife Club' in AFP

Obedient Wife Club set up to curb divorce in The Telegraph

Malaysian Polygamy Club Draws Criticism in The Muslim Observer

Wives told to be whores in bed in Bangkok Post

Population index:
Gender ratio: 
at birth - 1.07 male :1 female
under 15 years - 1.06 male : 1 female
15 - 64 years - 1.01 male : 1 female
65 years and over - 0.79 male : 1 female
total population - 1.01 male : 1 female
~~ source: Malaysia Department of Statistics


Updated on 13/10/11:
OWC - Obedient Wives Club or Orgy Wives Club

More Prostitutes Please, We Are Malaysians!!!

I never thought I'd  need to follow up my post "More Sex Please, We Are Malaysians" with another post. But life in a circus is unpredictable and Malaysia is a circus.


Take these news articles in today's and yesterday's The Star, for instance.


'Wives can curb social ills like prostitution by being obedient and alluring'
Obedient Wives Club to offer sex lessons on how to pleasure husbands

When asked whether it was the wife's fault for being abused, she said: “Yes, most probably because she didn't listen to her husband.”

Sex lessons to help wives “serve their husbands better than a first-class prostitute” will be among the courses provided by the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) to help promote harmonious marriages and counter social ills.

Its vice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamad said it was time sexual prowess took a front seat in marriage beyond the traditional “good mother or good cook” roles.

So, let us see....
A good wife = a first class prostitute
A first class prostitue = a good wife
Therefore, all wives should be prostitutes. Or is it all men should aim to marry a first class prostitute??


The Obedient Wives Club is created by Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd, which also has an Ikhwan Polygamy Club. Perfect compatibility. After dinner, the husband leaves for his Polygamy Club while the wife proceeds to her Obedient Wives Club. 


Perhaps I should start an online business selling whips, hooker boots, leather thongs, pornography DVDs and graphic comics. I bet I will be a millionaire in no time, since a large population will be prostitutes and in need of those supplies! Any buyers here? :P


P/s: Prostitutes Wanted: Must be willing and grateful to be whipped, beaten up, thoroughly abused, raped and used in any manner the man, her master, wishes. If you think it is a priviledge to be treated thus, or that this is the pathway to heaven, please apply here.


P.P.S: Come join us to take a stand in the  We do not want Sexist Nonsense from Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd Facebook page.


Updates: FB group counters sexist wives club.
Related topics:
Polygamy, Prostitution and Homosexuality
OWC - Obedient Wives Club or Orgy Wives Club

Is It Better To Be An Insomniac Vampire or A Walking Dead?

It's 4:58pm on a hot, sunny Wednesday afternoon, and I am feeling particularly sleepy, and with nobody to talk to (hubby is at work, mum and two kitties are sound asleep, emails from cousin and friends have been replied to), it's time to indulge in some verbal diarrhea a.k.a. ramblings in my blog. Dear readers, this is your modern day's old lady mumbling to herself. I think I could grow to love this image of myself. It is more sophisticated than that of an old crotchety lady, sitting on a rocking chair, knitting and mumbling to herself, no? 


More than two and a half years ago, I rambled on about the nicknames hubby gave me in a self-indulgent post titled List of Nicknames. The nicknames have not changed much. I am still called the Insomniac Vampire, due to my insomnia. But a new nickname has emerged. I now have the dubious honour of being called The Walking Dead. Is that a promotion or what??


I've always had low blood pressure (hypotension), but it's not something in the forefront of my mind. Ever since hubby started monitoring his blood pressure and blood glucose level diligently, he puts me under the 'microscope', too. And he found, to his horror, that my blood pressure does not vary too far from what has now become the benchmark of my 'normal' blood pressure readings: 88/52. My systolic reading does not sway too far from 88, and neither does my diastolic reading. The highest ever recorded was 90/55. But it's usually 86/50, 88/52, never dropping below 50. 


According to the doctor, if my diastolic reading ever plunges below 50, I am to be rushed to the hospital immediately, because that is considered a critical morbidity stage. So, when my readings are 88/52, hubby says he sees his dead wife walking around. And that's how the nickname The Walking Dead started. I can't quite make up my mind if I should be flattered. I do believe I prefer to be an Insomniac Vampire, at least a vampire is more attractive than a zombie.....the latter has a rather distinctive, err, scent.  :)


And now I have a cousin with Graves' Disease. What is that?? Is she a grave-robber? Or grave-digger? No, nothing so glamorous unfortunately. Graves' Disease is an autoimmune disease that causes high thyroid, and I am so concerned for her. I've always pictured her to be forever young, healthy, bubbly and happy, to imagine that she could be anything less than that is very disconcerting, to say the least. 


It's now 5:22pm,  time to 'pen off' and perform some wifely duties -- hoover the floor and then retreat to my kitchen to cook up a storm for hubby. 

More Sex Please, We Are Malaysians!!!

It has been thought that food is a Malaysian national obsession. A friend from the UK once noted that Malaysians are always eating, no matter what time of the day or night it is, and if they are not eating, they are thinking of eating or talking about eating. I agreed with him. 


On the surface, it does look like Malaysians are obsessed with food. However, if you take a closer look, you might think again. For hidden beneath the layers of gluttony, lies another, secret obsession. People from all walks of life -- politicians, police, wardens, lawyers, engineers, teachers, cooks, housewives, the media, the general public -- are obsessed with one thing...SEX.


No, we are not making out like rabbits and hamsters 24/7, we are obsessed with knowing about other people having sex and sodomy. *slap forehead* Just take a look at our newspapers, day in, day out, there is bound to be a few reports on other people having sex. Just do a search for the word "sex" in The Star Online and you'll be amazed at the tons and tons of news that came up.


We have police crowding around a table, watching videos after videos of politicians having sex, and we have politicians clamouring for said videos to be screened for their viewing pleasure. 


And then, we have Ibrahim Ali who stumbled upon the realisation that the reason Malaysian men stray from their wives and have affairs is because their wives neglect their duty by not dropping whatever it is they're doing and jumping into bed with their husbands when they (the husbands) have the urge. 


And today, we have an engineer who saves her marriage by watching porn while the police say they are willing to expose the performer of a sex video. Gee, is the public going to get a treat of the bums of a sex performer??!! I'm sure all Malaysians are waiting with bated breath for more....give me more, give me more, we are Malaysians.....


Sources of the news mentioned above:
Leaked Clip and 'Wifely Duties Excite House'
Engineer Saves Her Marriage By Watching Porn
Sex Video: Police Won't Hesitate To Expose Performer
Speaker Shoots Down Call To Screen Sex Video in Dewan
Women File For Divorce Over Hubbie's Unusual Sex Drive
Woman Can't Stomach Cook's Ardour
Sexcapade Of Teacher And Warden On Video
Award-Winning Teacher's Secret - Reading and Sex


P/s: Perhaps I ought to start a label 'Sex'  in my blog and file this post there instead of 'Laughs' or 'Random Thots'....
Updated posts:
More Prostitutes Please, We Are Malaysians
Polygamy, Prostitution and Homosexuality
OWC - Obedient Wives Club or Orgy Wives Club

A Boston Cat Called For Jury Duty

The judiciary in US is different from the one in Malaysia. In Malaysia, one man (the judge) listens to a case and then passes his judgement. In the US, the court has a panel of jury, members of whom are selected from the public, and comprised of people from all walks of life.


Now, what do you do when you run out of people to call for the jury? A cat, of course! Check out the full story from Daily Mail

Well, mistake or no mistake, I hope Sal gets presented in court on March 23.   :)

The Pros and Cons of Married Life

Disclaimer: This post is nothing but the ramblings of someone who has nothing better to do than to self-indulge in some mindless drivel. It does not contain any useful information. Reading it will not make you better-informed. Rather, the contents might contain harmful elements to your sanity. If you still wish to go ahead and read it, do so at your own risk. You have been forewarned......

------------------------ooooOOOOOOoooo----------------------------------

Humans are like cows. The grass on the other side of the fence is always greener. It's not unusual to hear someone who is married complained that they wished they were not married, while those who are single wished to join themselves to someone for better or worse.


As a married woman of eight years, I feel I am qualified to list the pros and cons of married life as well as include some tips on how to overcome them, where applicable.


First, the disadvantages of married life:


1) You'll always have a dinner companion. No tips. Still mulling it over.


2) You'll always find that you are squeezed to the edge of your King-sized bed as the elephant of the house occupies the centre while in deep sleep. Have a sharp pin on the ready beside your pillow and when that happens, prick the elephant in the arm with it. Don't worry about hurting the elephant even if he yowls, the skin is too thick to suffer any serious damage.


3) You're forever on your knees helping your spouse look for his missing socks. There are three options here. One, you could paint his feet, from toes to ankles, to look like they're wearing socks so no socks will be required anymore. Two, you could string all his socks together and put them around his neck so he knows where they are at all times, even when he's at work in the office. Or, as a last resort, you could chop off his feet and save him from having to wear socks. 


The advantages of married life:


1) You'll always have someone to tell you you're fat (even if you don't think you are) and proudly call you his cow.


2) You'll know the Apocalypse hasn't come in the dead of the night when you hear the snores from the other side of the bed.


3) You'll always have a guinea pig to experiment your recipes on.


4) You'll always have a free plumber. You only need to holler when the sink clogs up. But do get a pail and mop ready in case the plumber decides the quickest way to unclog the sink is to simply open the bottom cover.


5) You'll always have someone looking over your shoulder as you go about your life to make sure you haven't dropped dead standing up or sitting down with your eyes opened.


The advantages are not limited to the above, but I think you would have got the idea now --- it's far more advantageous to be married than not. 


P/s: This is a tongue-in-cheek post and in no way does it reflect my relationship with my husband. I love my Mr. Potato lots! He's a GREAT hubby!   :)

Merry Christmas!!

Turkey:   Oh no!! It's that time of the year! Eat beeeeefffff!!!

Me:   Merry Christmas and Happy Turkey Gobbling, everyone! 

We Incite, Not Invite, Tourists To Malaysia

According to the brochures distributed at the Malaysia Pavillion at the Shanghai World Expo, Malaysia has a 130-million-year-old Taman Nerara. 


And we "incite visitous to our nulticultural, decelopment locationgs in our cuntry." How could this go to print?!
source: http://www.mmail.com.my/content/53622-mistakes-international-brochure-put-country-shame-says-mp


Someone commented that luckily they didn't spell it as Taman Neraka (Hades Park in Malay). 


Imagine....we incite you to our 130-million-year-old Taman Neraka, a great place to visit at Halloween..... 

Cats Take To The Streets In Protest

Last night, an unprecedented incident in the history of mankind took place at Jalan Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur. Cats came out in droves on the streets, wearing hats and carrying placards in protest of the 100-storey mega tower that would be built at the site near Stadium Merdeka and Stadium Negara.

"That's a sign that the End of the World is coming. Our cats normally reside in Kuching, a special city zoned for cats in Sarawak, a state in East Malaysia," a witness said. 


Seen running after her cats, trying to catch them and put them back into their carriers is FurLin, who told CNN (Cats News Network) that she doesn't know what came over her cats. She was having dinner at Healy Mac's, an Irish Restaurant in Bukit Bintang when her cats broke free from their carriers, donned their hats and ran off to join other cats that were similarly attired. 


"They just went nuts," she said, pointing to her cats in the pink straw hat and red cowboy hat. "Before they dashed off, they meowed that the RM5 billion ringgit would be better used to build a  Cat Village to house all the poor and homeless," chirped her husband, FurNut.


When approached, the cat in a pink straw hat said, "Look, the money could be used to help the poor and improve public hospitals and clinics". 


"Humans should improve their education system so that they are at least half as smart as we felines. The money could be used to improve the public transport system, and thus ease the massive traffic jams in the city. Instead, they are using the money to create even more traffic jam. This just proves what we knew all along --- humans are not fit to lead a country," the cat in a red cowboy hat added.


The protest is against the government's planned Warisan Merdeka project announced in the recent Budget 2011.


If you agree that RM5 billion could be better spent elsewhere, be it on education, hospitals and clinics, public transport, or to help out the poor, please join the protest in http://www.facebook.com/NoMegaTower. And please drop a line and say "hi" to the cats if you sympathise with them.  :P

Nasi Lemak Fest @ Bukit Merah Laketown Resort

Calling all Nasi Lemak fans. To cater to some Malaysians who want to eat the same thing, namely Nasi Lemak, for breakfast, lunch and dinner, the hotel is now introducing a special Nasi Lemak Promotion Package.


For only RM480 nett for 3D/2N, you get the ubiquitous nasi lemak for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And if you'd like nasi lemak for tea too, just add another RM18 per pax. Still haven't had enough of nasi lemak? Don't worry, there's always supper......more nasi lemak....


Money back guarantee - we guarantee every meal will be identical.....


Disclaimer: This is a purely tongue-in-cheek, satiric post resulting from my observation of  a couple of guests who only ate nasi lemak throughout the three days I was at the resort. It has  nothing to do with Bukit Merah Laketown Resort, and is not a post from the hotel. To view the rates or promotion of the resort, please visit >>> http://www.bukitmerahresort.com.my/

Yeah...Leave My Food Alone!!

Yeah.....we don't like to share our food..... :D


This video is specially dedicated to my cousin, who was born in the year of the dog, and who is a cat-allergic dog person..... :D

A Wrestle Between A Sheepdog and A Maine Coon Cat

This is a must watch if you like cats and dogs.............

How A Hokkien Lang Translates Cantonese Into Hokkien

This video is a scream. A MUST WATCH, especially if you are a Hokkien lang who understands Cantonese. Even if you understand only a bit of Cantonese, it should be rather entertaining.

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advise Columns

Yes, why indeed? Thanks to a cousin of mine, now we know. Enjoy........  :))

Michael Jackson Parody - Am I Black or White

I stumbled onto this video while watching another video sent by a friend.

Enjoy........

Best Way To Safeguard Your Password

No one can see your passwords or whatever you're typing....

No one can see whatever you're typing or whichever websites you're surfing...

And the ultimate is............

.......................

......................

.....................

....................